Los Angeles Divorce Lawyer Blog

The New York Times is reporting that sons of divorce could have a more difficult time coping than daughters.

Our Los Angeles divorce lawyers recently wrote about challenges facing adult children of divorce parents. The more common challenge, of course, is the health and welfare of young children.

We take reports like this with a grain of salt. Next month, there is likely to be a researcher somewhere who contends daughters are more likely to have a difficult time. The important message to take away from such studies is the need to prepare children for a life in which both parents live separately, lead separate lives, and often remarry.

As we reported recently on our Los Angeles Divorce Lawyer Blog, parents know, intellectually, that they are entering the life of single parents. But operating two households on the same income is like taking a 50 percent pay cut. And arguing about visitation is often pointless as the custodial parent will often look forward to the much-needed break.

An experienced Los Angeles divorce lawyer and child custody attorney will be able to assist you in avoiding many of the common pitfalls that unnecessarily delay a divorce. Conversely, he or she will be able to keep you from rushing a divorce at the expense of costly mistakes that will impact your future well-being. Child support and alimony are just two of the issues that will impact how well you are able to provide for your children going forward, whether you are on the receiving end or the paying end.

This study found that separation from a father, which happens frequently when a mother gets custodial control, could have more of an emotional impact on sons. To that end, the study collaborates what other reports have found, and that is the importance of a father figure or male role model in a child's life.

As we reported last June on our Los Angeles Divorce Lawyer Blog, we understand the importance of protecting a father's rights during a California divorce and child custody case.

The number of non-resident fathers who enjoy relationships with their children continues to rise. In 1976, just 18 percent saw their kids weekly. By 2002, that number had increased to 31 percent. Meanwhile, the number of father's who have no contact with their children continues to decline, from 37 percent to 29 percent.

A father's rights are a critical aspect of divorce. Seeking solid advice at the earliest stage of a child custody case in Los Angeles can go a long way toward protecting your rights and preserving your future relationship with your children.

Continue reading "Father's rights critical to boys' development following Los Angeles divorce" »

The National Ledger reports actress Jamie Pressley could be on her way to ending her short-term marriage in California even as authorities seek $637,000 in state and federal taxes.

A Los Angeles divorce attorney should always be called to handle a divorce, regardless of its length or whether or not a couple had children. A short-term marriage is generally defined as one lasting less than 10 years. In this case, the marriage only lasted 18 months and it should not be difficult for the parties to reach a settlement on property division.

But, as this case illustrates, debt is also a form of marital property that can return to haunt either party in a divorce. Particularly when the Internal Revenue Service is involved. Determining who is responsible, and ensuring that the debt is paid, can be critical to your financial well-being.

In this case, Pressley is married to an attorney, which highlights the need for both parties in a Los Angeles divorce to have qualified legal representation. Relying upon the expertise of a spouse, or his or her attorney, can be a reputation for disaster.

E! News reports the IRS filed a tax lien against the 33-year-old actress in December. Such liens can also make it difficult to divide up marital property, such as real estate. The government also filed a lien for $281,699 in September and California filed a lien for $95,080 in June.

Pressley was also arrested and charged with drunk driving in Los Angeles earlier this month. She has been released on a $15,000 bond and is due back in court in February.

Divorce is a stressful time in most client's lives. Significant legal problems can add to that stress. Such problems may also jeopardize savings or other assets that are being held in joint accounts pending the outcome of a divorce in California.

Continue reading "Pressley's legal and tax problems highlight common challenges in Los Angeles divorce cases" »

Reuters News had an interesting report this week on the impact divorce has on adult children.

While divorce in Los Angeles involving adult children is in many ways simpler than those involving minors -- there are no child support or child custody issues with which to deal -- adult children, particularly when they interject themselves into the divorce, can present their own challenges.

Often they are worried about the welfare of one or both parents, sometimes they are worried about legal bills, the fate of individual assets such as their childhood home, or their inheritance. Young adult children may suddenly have issues paying for college. In reality, what they should really be worried about is their own welfare and their own well-being during what can be a challenging time.

In some cases, allowing these challenges to fester -- paying more attention the affairs of divorcing parents than their own, in other words -- can lead to a failure to launch: A grown child may not complete college, may have issues landing career employment and may delay or fail to begin building their own savings or contribute to their own development.

Tips for Adult Children of Divorce:

-Take care of yourself. Don't neglect your own career or your own financial security while worrying about mom or dad.

-Encourage financial planning as part of the divorce negotiations. Establishing trust funds and other financial planning instruments can preserve wealth during divorce.

-Look into long-term care insurance: Older divorced parents may need help caring for themselves. No matter how much you love a parent, this can place a tremendous burden on adult children.

-Ask for what you want. Make known your fondness for certain heirlooms that may otherwise fall by the way during a divorce and division of a household.

-Look after the neediest parent with financial advice and education. Often it is mom who is left with lower earning power and less experience managing money.

Continue reading "Adult children must cope constructively with divorce in Los Angeles" »

A recent article in the Lexington Herald-Leader outlines what it says are the "Eight things no one ever tells you about divorce." As our Los Angeles divorce lawyers reported here recently, the new year often brings a spike in the number of divorces. We encourage those contemplating divorce to discuss their options with qualified legal help before announcing their intentions to a spouse.

Divorce is a life-altering event. Education and information are power. Some people never fully recover their quality of life or financial well-being in the wake of a poorly executed divorce.

1) If you are parents, you have a relationship with your ex forever: This is true. Only a former spouse has no obligation to do as you say or to act as you would act when it comes to the interests of the children. If it is not in a court document, if it is not mandated, and if you are just counting on good sense, you could be in for a lot of trouble. An experienced child custody attorney in Los Angeles can help make sure your divorce and child custody agreement is comprehensive. This can also reduce the chances of hard feelings or contention when issues arise down the road.

2) Divorce starts after you sign the papers:Know what you are signing. Understand the agreement. Know what restrictions you are agreeing to, because they could last for years, or even decades.

3) Every other weekend is a blessing for custodial parents:You are basically a single parent now. So often, a divorcing parent will make arrangements or arguments regarding child custody through the lens of their current experienced. An experienced divorce attorney can frequently help you grasp future challenges and avoid some of the common pitfalls.

4)You lose a lot of friends in divorce: This varies by case. Certainly some friends are going to revert back to original loyalties. But you may be surprised. Certainly leaving the dirt in your attorney's office or in the courtroom is a great start to maintaining friendships. Beware social networks like Facebook -- where posts can have the same impact as gossiping in person. When it comes to social networking, a great rule of thumb is to not post anything on there that you would not be comfortable answering for in court.

5)The courts do not care: Yes and no. The courts have a job to do and a busy docket full of divorcing couples with your problems. If you are looking for sympathy -- if you are counting on a ruling to go your way because of a tale of woe -- you are going to be really, really disappointed ... and probably angry. Experienced legal help and sound legal arguments are your best when it comes to fighting for your rights.

6) Money is always an issue: No-fault divorces in California and an equal division of property are nothing more than legal theories. Property valuation, what counts as a marital asset, child support and alimony can all conspire to leave divorce one-sided. On top of that, you are now a family with twice the expenses and half the income. And minor missteps by you or your spouse can lead to a damaged credit rating.

7) You and your ex have personal lives: If and when either of you finds a new partner, that person may have an uncommon amount of say in your life, via your children or other remaining ties.

8) You will get a second wind:Those who have sought proper legal guidance will have the best chance of coming through a divorce with the tools to begin rebuilding the life of their dreams.

Continue reading "Experienced attorney best able to help with challenges of divorce in Los Angeles" »

Media outlets are reporting about the traditional New Year's spike in the number of Los Angeles divorces and divorces elsewhere in the nation -- and the world, for that matter.
The Huffington Post reports this year's big day in the United States is Jan. 10, with some referring to it as Black Monday.

First Wives World reports that lawyers in London have a specific day picked. D-Day is the first Monday after the kids return to school -- this year that's Jan. 12.

Meanwhile, The Columbus Dispatch reports the spike in Ohio comes in March and attributes it to a long holiday-less winter.

Many reasons have been offered for the spike, including:

-Closure of courts and law offices for most of the last half of December.

-Cold winter weather forcing couples to spend more time indoors.

-Drunken holiday parties.

-New Year's resolutions.

-Debt.

What is true is that many will decide this year that they want out of their marriage. Our Los Angeles divorce lawyers encourage you to enter this phase of your life with careful planning and caution. Divorce is among the most precarious times in a person's life, both financially and emotionally. Careful planning -- not knee-jerk reactions -- will go a long way toward determining whether you reclaim your quality of life following the end of your marriage.

We encourage you to speak with a divorce attorney before you even speak with your spouse. Particularly in cases where one spouse kept the finances or is the majority breadwinner, gathering documentation of your household finances can be much easier before you have announced your intentions to separate. An experienced divorce lawyer can also assist in planning for child custody, taxes, health care and other critical issues necessary to achieving your goals through a 2011 divorce.

Continue reading "Careful planning a necessity for those whose 2011 resolutions include a Los Angeles divorce" »

Sean Penn told reporters recently that ex-wife Robin Wright took half of everything he had as a result of the end of their 14-year marriage, the New York Daily News reported.

Our Los Angeles divorce lawyers frequently report on the equal division of marital property as the result of a no-fault divorce in California. Another significant factor is whether the marriage was short-term, defined as less than 10 years, or long-term. Communal property findings can be more common in long-term marriages. The length of the marriage can also determine amount and length of spousal support.

Spousal support in a short-term marriage, when granted, is generally for half the length of the marriage. In a long-term marriage, no termination date for spousal support is set and such payments can be opened ended. This is one of the reasons you see celebrity couples -- like Tom Cruise and Nichole Kidman -- divorce near the 10-year mark.

Property division in a Los Angeles divorce can be complicated by identifying what is a marital asset. For instance, perhaps a spouse bought a house just prior to marriage but the majority of mortgage payments were made by both parties. Or perhaps that house is significantly underwater as a result of the real estate meltdown and is not an asset at all but a liability that needs hung around someone's neck.

Retirement accounts, child support and health insurance are also frequently at issue as a result of a California divorce. The state's no-fault divorce law does not mean an equal split is imminent. But it could mean your biggest fault is failure to consult with an experienced attorney as early as possible in the divorce process.

Continue reading "Sean Penn says divorce cost him half -- Los Angeles divorces involving long-term marriage often complicated " »

The Huffington Post reports that Eddie Murphy's ex-wife has blown through her $15 million divorce settlement in four years and is now broke and racking up thousands of dollars in debts.

If true, this case illustrates the importance of making sure your Los Angeles divorce lawyer cuts all financial ties between you and your soon-to-be-ex spouse. While an extreme example, the allegations in this case illustrate that no amount of money will guarantee a buffer between you and your ex's finances if you remain on home loans, car loans, credit cards, joint bank accounts or other common financial instruments. Too often, couples think that because they can come to an agreement on property division -- or because there is little to divide -- there is no need for legal help. Property division in a Los Angeles divorce can be as much about playing defense and removing yourself from future obligation, as it is about winning assets.

The Examiner reports Nicole Mitchell Murphy received the $15 million settlement as a result of the end of the couple's 12-year marriage in 2006. She reportedly opted to receive the money in one lump sum rather than receiving monthly installments.

She now reportedly owes the IRS $846,000. And a law firm $600,000. As well as $60,000 in landscaping bills and $5 million on her Los Angeles home.

The couple have five children together.

Continue reading "Eddie Murphy's ex reportedly spent $14 million divorce settlement in four years" »

Divorces, like couples, come in all shapes and sizes. But if things have not degenerated to throwing donuts at one another -- or even if they have -- keeping the tax implications of a Los Angeles divorce in mind can often save you thousands of dollars.

As the Personal Financial Bulletin recently reported, delaying a divorce until after the first of the year can be an important consideration when filing taxes. If you divorce on December 31 -- you are considered divorced for 2010. In some cases, putting off the divorce and filing jointly can be the best course of action.

Additionally, mid-year divorces can leave both on the hook for tax obligations. As can the sale of a marital residence or other assets. In fact, tax problems and Los Angeles divorce can go hand in hand if your attorney is not experienced enough to keep you out of harm's way. The government is not going to care that your ex-wife was supposed to pay the capital gains on that stock sale.

You may also be able to file as head of household and be considered unmarried if you are divorced before Dec. 31 or are married but have lived apart for the last six months. Child custody in Los Angeles and the number of dependents you can claim on your taxes also have a significant impact on your tax obligations.

Another important tax consideration is distinguishing between alimony and child support. Child support is not taxable, nor is it a deductible expense. Alimony counts as earned income for the person receiving it and is tax deductible for the person paying it.

Thus, if you are receiving it, it will be to your advantage to make child support high and alimony low. The opposite is true if you are paying.

There are many, many other tax considerations for divorcing or divorced couples to consider. Knowing what is in the best interest of a client when it comes to paying taxes is just one more example of why hiring an experienced divorce attorney is vital when it comes to protecting your rights and your current and future financial well-being.

Continue reading "Divorce and Taxes: Los Angeles couples would do well to remember Uncle Sam" »

The New York Times is reporting that the financial burden of college falls more heavily on the shoulders of children of divorced parents, according to the results of a study published this month in the Journal of Family Issues.

Our Los Angeles Divorce Lawyers understand the financial strain a divorce can have on a family's finances. Unfortunately, a party to a divorce will sometimes forgo legal advice, or attempt to find free or low-cost legal help, in an effort to save money during what is a costly and emotional time in a person's life. We believe this is usually a mistake.

It is not unusual for a party to an ill-advised divorce to never regain the financial security he or she enjoyed during the marriage. When it comes to providing for children, things like health insurance and college tuition are often not thought out or properly addressed.

The results, as this article suggests, can be bright children with little or no access to college -- or with college paid for through loans that will take decades to repay. The resulting drag on a child's potential and finances can stretch the consequences of a divorce out for a generation.

Researchers from Rice University and the University of Wisconsin found that divorced parents contributed about one-third of what married parents contributed to a child's education. Their incomes are also about half as much as parents who stayed married. Parents who remarry, contribute about half of what married parents contribute -- even though their incomes are comparable to parents who stayed married.

In fact, the study found that marital status was a more important factor in determining the contributions of a parent to a college education than were a parent's income or education. Married parents contributed about 8 percent of their income and met about 77 percent of a child's financial needs. Divorced parents contributed 6 percent and met less than half the need. Remarried parents contributed 5 percent and met just over half a child's needs.

Continue reading "Children of Los Angeles Divorce less likely to have adequate college funding without proper planning" »

A recent article in the Huffington Post explores an issue seldom mentioned in divorces involving children -- usually only one parent wants to divorce, leaving the other with no choice but to reluctantly enter dissolution or divorce proceedings.

Consulting a Los Angeles divorce lawyer or child custody attorney is nevertheless vital to protecting your rights and your future quality of life and financial well-being, not to mention your relationship with your child. Frequently, the partner seeking divorce has done his or her homework. Failure to do likewise can result in consequences that you will be dealing with for years to come.

Author Judith Wallerstein, founder of the Center for the Family in Transition which bears her name, notes that the resulting hurt feelings are often responsible for much of the animosity and legal wrangling sometimes present in a divorce. When each side hires professional, competent divorce counsel (which is essential to protecting your rights anyway) some of that emotion can be removed from the equation. It can also help prevent children from becoming a pawn in such bitter disputes.

Wallerstein notes that no-fault divorce is a legal concept, not an emotional one. But as a legal concept it works just fine with appropriate legal advice. No-fault divorce in California means each party is entitled to half the marital assets. Your attorney should be invaluable in helping you determine what should be considered marital assets. Retirement savings? College degrees and their earning power? He or she will also assist you in determining what is a fair-market value and a fair and equitable division.

While an experienced lawyer cannot take all of the emotion out of the equation, he or she should be able to help shield you from the disruption and consequences of such emotions, while working to ensure you are treated fairly by the process, whether or not the divorce was of your choosing.

Continue reading "One-sided divorce in Los Angeles often a consequence of one party's wishes" »

In ending its series "Money and Divorce" the New York Times published some solid advice from money managers and financial planners who had been through the divorce process.

Our Los Angeles divorce lawyers know the new year is a common time for a couple to initiate divorce proceedings. We frequently advise spouses to not announce plans to divorce until they have done their research and spoken to a qualified family law attorney in Los Angeles. Gathering financial documents and making other preparations can be much easier without doing battle with a spouse at the same time.

Divorce is a dangerous financial time. Some spouses never recover their quality of life when the victim of a poorly executed divorce. Understanding some of the challenges can assist you in making the right decisions. Knowledge is power, after all, and it can help protect your future financial well-being, as well your relationship with you children if decisions about child custody in Los Angles are part of the equation.

Dissolution, divorce, legal separation, spousal and child support, visitation and pre-marital (pre-nuptial) agreements may also all part of the equation.

Among the chief issues:

Choosing a Lawyer: Your choice of attorneys can have a drastic impact on the outcome of your divorce case. Like with many other choices in life, the cheapest option is not always the best option and you often get what you pay for. A board certified family law attorney, like Mitchell A. Jocobs, is a recognized expert in their field and has dedicated their career to the practice of all aspects of family law in California. Many general practitioners may take a divorce case if someone shows up with a check, or a personal injury case, or a criminal case. By hiring a specialist in family law, you will be assured of getting a highly-trained California divorce and child-custody attorney.

Picking Fights; Do you want to be divorced? Or do you want to be divorcing? Two people can fight about almost anything (okay, they can fight about anything). Decide what is important, pick your battles and go on with your life.

Keeping Records: You are in charge of your finances now. If your former spouse used to keep the books, it's time to own up and become accountable. Keeping precise records can save headaches and heartache down the road.

Hitting the Details: Orthodontic bills. College tuition. Taxes. The Dog. Decide it now. Don't rely upon a former spouse to be reasonable 18 months from now when all is finalized and he or she wants to move to Brazil with Fido. This is another reason that hiring a board certified divorce attorney in Los Angeles can be money well spent. Spending a career immersed in such details makes it that much less likely that you will end up tripping over unforeseen issues stemming from a poorly executed divorce.

Living Nearby: Maybe you want to move to the moon to get away. That is not always practical with children. Away custody issues are increasingly common. And, in fact, you can be prevented by a judge from moving too far away for your former spouse to have adequate visitation rights.

Overspending: On the children. On yourself via comfort shopping. You will likely be far happier on solid financial ground, making incremental life improvements, than you will making the minimum monthly payments on $10,000 worth of credit card debt for a new wardrobe and personal makeover.
Dissolution, divorce, legal separation, spousal and child support, visitation and pre-marital (pre-nuptial) agreements may be all part of the equation.

Continue reading "Knowledge is power when navigating common issues of Los Angeles divorce " »

The holidays can be a stressful time. That can be particularly true for those dealing with divorce in Los Angeles. For others, the New Year and a properly executed divorce will offer a new beginning.

Our L.A. divorce attorneys wish each of you a safe and enjoyable holiday season. And we share with you some sound advice regarding financial considerations during divorce, which were recently published in the New York Times.

Without proper planning and representation, divorce can be financially devastating. As the Times notes, amid concern for the children and your own emotions "it seems almost tone-deaf at that point to suggest you write a new budget."

But it is the spouse who properly keeps an eye on the financial considerations -- and this doesn't mean just how much you can drag away from the union but also what you can do now, and going forward, to secure your future -- who will emerge the least scathed.

Legal fees are certainly part of that consideration. But in selecting an attorney it is equally important to understand the cheapest is not always best. The fees of an experienced, professional attorney should pale in comparison to the long-term expense of a poorly executed divorce.

Among the primary financial considerations of divorce in Southern California:

-Health Insurance: Without it, you are one health crisis away from bankruptcy. Typically, you will not be eligible for a spouse's plan after divorce. Cobra is a joke. The government's rules permit you to continue receiving coverage for up to three years. A policy for a single person will cost you upwards of $1,000 a month out-of-pocket. A family policy can cost you tens of thousands a year.

Knowing the cost of your insurance is critical -- either so you can negotiate it as part of a divorce settlement, or so you will know where you stand when it comes to what you can afford in the way of housing and transportation costs.

-Mental Health: Seek out the advice of a professional if depression or other issues interfere with the quality of life of either you or your children.

-Credit: Letting bills slip through the cracks, either because you are not speaking to a spouse or you are attempting to punish them, can do long-term damage to your credit. Canceling jointly held credit cards is also a good idea.

Getting your name removed from auto loans or a mortgage your are no longer responsible for is also sound advice.

-Hired Help: With one of you, the cost of babysitting, house and yard maintenance and other hired chores needs to be taken into account.

-Keeping House: Selling the marital home, either at the time of divorce, or later, can be a vulnerable financial time. Upside down mortgages and the costs associated with moving and paying a real estate agent are just a few of the considerations.

-Taxes: Taxes can have a drastic impact on the value of almost every marital asset and need to be considered when making valuations and divisions.

-Spousal Education: If you have been out of the workforce for a significant period of time, you may need additional education or training. Such schooling can be expensive and can prohibit you from working full time.

-Teenagers: From the cost of outfitting two bedrooms, to the disagreements with former spouses on what is a "want" and what is a "need," divorce can only complicate the already challenging time of dealing with teenagers. Costs associated with cars, car insurance, sports and the prom must all be shouldered by one or both parents.

Continue reading "Keep an eye on the finances when dealing with a Los Angeles divorce" »

When divorce has become inevitable, it' important to know how to cope with it. Protecting your future is critical and speaking to a Los Angeles family law attorney is a good first step.

Divorce can raise many different emotions, including stress, disappointment, rejection, anger, fear, anxiety, confusion, uncertainty. It may also bring relief, peace of mind and a new beginning. These feelings may be compounded when minor children are involved. They may be inevitable; the key is learning how to deal with them.

It's important to begin the coping process even before divorce papers are filed. Surround yourself with friends and family that make you feel good. Participate in activities you enjoy. Focus on things that make you happy. Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Perhaps most importantly, don't go through the process alone.

Support groups can be found though a variety of means: local religious groups, family physicians, community colleges, community centers, local health care facilities, libraries and even the internet may be valuable resources. There may be children's' support groups at their school.

Once the dust has settled, so to speak, you eventually may feel ready to start dating again. This may be a daunting thought, especially if you've been married for many years. The articles suggest you consider several things before going "back out there."
One important consideration is speaking to your children before dating after a divorce to reassure them you're not replacing their father/mother, and that they remain the most important people in your life.

By any measurement, coping with divorce can be difficult. Our Los Angeles family law lawyers can help. By speaking early and often with the kind of professionals available to assist you with the process, you will ensure you have the best chance for a successful outcome.

Continue reading "Coping with divorce in Los Angeles " »

It's well-known that life-altering changes, such as divorce, can increase the risk of depression. What's not as well-known is that women may be more susceptible to such depression because of hormonal factors that influence mood-regulating brain chemicals, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).

In general, our Los Angeles divorce lawyers do recommend that divorcing parties seek routine health care, and certainly you should discuss depression and other issues with your health care provider. Divorce can be a time of great uncertainty. By seeking the advice of a qualified attorney -- even before notifying your spouse of your intentions to separate -- you can go a long way toward ensuring your future financial and emotional well-being.

According to an article in eHow , the loss of a committed, intimate relationship can trigger increased levels of stress, which is one of the key risk factors for depression. The NIMH states that when a woman has experienced prior episodes of depression, she is more likely to experience recurring depression during a divorce. High-conflict relationships increase this risk.

Still, the article goes on to state that a recent study conducted at Yale University revealed differences in depression between genders: while both men and women have higher rates of depression during a divorce, men are at higher risk for major depression, while women tend toward milder depression.

Furthermore, although women are likely to experience depression and stress during the divorce process, they are likely to recover when the situation is resolved. Women may be more likely to process the events over time, while men may be more likely to delay the processing, leading to higher rates of major depressive episodes.

The article reports that the Surgeon General's office has confirmed that women are at high risk of mental disorders, including depression, during a divorce, particularly those who will be single mothers.

So what can be done to mitigate stress during a divorce? The article recommends counseling, psycho-educational programs, or other counseling, along with striving to maintain as much stability and structure as possible.

Continue reading "Los Angeles Divorce: Increased Risk of Depression for Women?" »

Many common reasons for avoiding divorce are logically flawed. In fact, according to a recent article at the Times of Malta, all of the reasons most commonly given for avoiding divorce have little validity.

Our Los Angeles divorce lawyers frequently see such flawed reasoning. Whether the reasons are religion, financial or involve the children, remaining in an unhappy marriage takes a heavy toll on all involved.

Take, for example, the argument that divorce is against the teachings of the church. Aside from the fact that not all persons are Catholic, there is also the fact that even many Catholics disagree with many of the church's doctrines. Furthermore, the Catholic Church's policies regarding divorce are not unequivocally consistent with Biblical texts, and there are many sects of Christianity that do condone divorce in certain circumstances.

Another example, according to the article, is avoiding divorce "for the sake of the kids." On its face, this reason seems attractive: no one wants to harm children. But staying in a bad marriage can be as bad for a family as dealing with the reality. Children are both smart and resilient. If you and your spouse are fighting, unhappy, or distant, it is not going unnoticed by the kids.

Still, it's clear that unilateral divorces based solely on incompatibility represent only a percentage of all divorces. Furthermore, according to the Times article, it's not the divorce itself that harms children, it's the circumstances surrounding the divorce.

For example, an amicable divorce, sensible custody terms and devoted parents all serve to mitigate any damage to the children of a divorce. Contrast this situation with a marriage where domestic abuse is commonplace. Which situation would you rather have your children in?

To sum up, no marital situations are exactly the same. Rather than blindly following "conventional wisdom," objectively assess your own situation and consult help if needed. Family law attorneys are experienced in matters of marital disputes and can assist you in protecting your rights and your future financial well-being before you speak to your spouse about a separation.

Continue reading "Anti-Divorce Arguments in Los Angeles: Maybe Not as Clear as They May Seem" »